Masami for Episode 1: Project DFA

Let's sum up my reasons for being in The Firm. As my colleague puts it, I'm just Desperate For Attention (DFA). Maybe - that must be why people get themselves on TV, don't they? Or else they could just go through the 'normal' channels of securing themselves a top position in a corporate organisation. (Which, in Malaysia would be via bribery or because your dad knows 'someone' higher up.)

For me, it has never been about the one-year job contract with TuneMoney.com and the prize valued at RM100,000 as when I first found out that I was chosen to run as a contestant, I felt that getting to the finals would be something close to impossible. (My target was to reach Episode 5 the furthest - my involvement would have amounted to at least 30 per cent of the show's runtime then.)

I used to be a horribly insecure person, with a big dash of paranoia on the side. Actually, I can still be at times. I used to be the girl relegated to the sidelines in my schooling days - because I wasn't as smart, as pretty, as talkative, as (please insert an adjective) as the other girls. Eventually I came around and started changing - but it was not enough. I wanted to be thrown in to a situation where I am forced to change and acquire certain traits of a successful corporate person: Aggressive, confident, quick-thinker, etc. Getting in front of the camera was a start and it also tallied with the things listed on my little list of 'Things to do Before I Turn 25'.

As a half-joke, I tell people that maybe the exposure will help bring all the potential boyfriend (maybe husband?) candidates to me. Ha ha.

In Episode 1, you may have noticed that there is not much footage of me speaking or acting when all the action is taking place. The show did feature me speaking 'behind the scenes' quite a bit though - but don't for once let that fool you into thinking that I'm only good for saying things behind people's backs. I just didn't want to cause arguments or distress within the group as I was quite certain that if I instantly emerged as Public Enemy No. 1, then I'd be the first person my team mates would be scheming to get rid of.

But I did not like Anoop - in fact, I still don't. He reeks of arrogance, is a show-off and loves being in the limelight. A lot of us think he is a liar, too - based on certain things he'd told us but of course, as all these 'tall tale' sessions took place off-camera, the production crew wouldn't let us bring these matters up in the boardroom and stuff because they wouldn't be relevant to the audience who only know what happened and what is said based on what is shown to them on telly.

In the first task, while I did not know enough about my team mates to be able to gauge each person's strengths and weaknesses, the fact that Anoop was scheming to get rid of Ridzuan if the team lost (and we did lose) speaks volumes of his character. A Team Leader, I believe, should always take responsibility for the mistakes that take place in a task unless of course, the subordinate went against the leader's instructions to perform an action that resulted in the task being totally screwed up.

But that does not mean I do not agree that Ridzuan should not be terminated in Episode 1. He is, to be honest, the weakest member in the team at that point. He did not come up with original ideas of his own but merely recaps what everybody else has said. The only small bit he volunteered to do (aside from what was assigned to him) was to buy balloons. Balloons. Huh.

There is no doubt that I was not one of the more outstanding members of Team Equity then though. The credit all goes to Jennifer and Dian who put in tremendous effort into the task although I felt that Dian was this really bossy snob in the beginning.

The first elimination meeting was traumatic for all of us - the room was dead silent, punctuated by sharp intakes of breathing by Jennifer mostly. Given the way things were going, it looked to me that Anoop was slated to be kicked off the show - we were just waiting for him to live up to his word that he would take responsibility as Team Leader and that he would step down because of his 'rich man's disease'.

But as luck would have it, Ridzuan opened his mouth, dropped the can of worms and the worms... well, it made for an absolute mess. Maybe he felt that Anoop would soon be pinning the blame on him so he had to strike while he still had the chance.

And the result was - as you have seen on TV. Nobody got eliminated. And so, we got to stick it till the next round with everybody's favourite The Team: Season 2 contestant, Anoop.